Does Size Matter? What Partners Actually Say

Short answer: Size matters far less to partners than it does to men. In a survey of more than 52,000 adults published in Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s penis size, but only 55% of men were satisfied with their own. When women in a separate study chose their ideal size from 3D models, their picks were only a little above average. For most partners, what you do matters much more than how big you are.

What Partners Report: The Satisfaction Gap

The study by Janet Lever, David Frederick and Letitia Anne Peplau is one of the largest ever done on attitudes to penis size. Its key findings:

• 85% of women were satisfied with their partner’s size.
• Only 55% of men were satisfied with their own.
• 45% of men wanted to be larger, even though most rated themselves as average.

That gap, between how partners feel and how men feel, is the most important thing to understand about size. The worry is mostly happening on one side of the bed.

What Size Do Women Prefer?

In a 2015 study in PLOS One, Nicole Prause and colleagues asked 75 women to choose their preferred size by handling 3D-printed models, a more realistic method than asking for numbers. On average, they chose:

Partner Type	Preferred Erect Length	Preferred Girth
Long-term partner	6.3″ (16 cm)	4.8″ (12.2 cm)
One-time partner	6.4″ (16.3 cm)	5.0″ (12.7 cm)

Those preferences are about an inch longer than the clinical average of 5.2 inches, so it would be dishonest to say size never matters. But they are far from the extremes in porn, and women in the study preferred slightly smaller sizes for long-term partners than for flings. Preference is also not the same as satisfaction: most women are happy with partners who are nowhere near their “ideal” number.

Length Vs Girth

When size does come up, many partners say girth is more noticeable than length. Much of the sensitivity in the vagina is near the entrance, and a very long penis can cause discomfort by hitting the cervix. The women in the 3D model study chose circumferences only slightly above the clinical average of 4.6 inches.

What Matters More Than Size

Clitoral Stimulation

Research by Debby Herbenick and colleagues found that only about 18% of women said intercourse alone was enough for them to orgasm. Most need clitoral stimulation, from hands, mouth, toys or positions that provide it, none of which depends on penis length.

Erection Quality And Stamina

A firm, reliable erection matters more than an extra half-inch. If yours are weaker than they used to be, a doctor can help, and pelvic floor exercises have clinical evidence for improving erectile function. See our guide to penis exercises that work.

Confidence And Attention

Anxiety about size can cause the problems men fear most: erection trouble, distraction and avoiding intimacy. Partners notice confidence and attentiveness far more than measurements.

Communication

Asking what a partner enjoys, and listening, is the most reliable way to be a better lover at any size.

What Our Survey Found

The Definitive Penis Size Survey asked men how they reacted to seeing a well-endowed man. Straight men were most likely to feel indifferent (29%) or envious (21%). The men who felt intimidated or inadequate were smaller on average than the men who felt indifferent, which is no surprise. But comparing yourself to the most endowed man in the room is a contest almost everyone loses, and it says nothing about whether your partner is satisfied.

Tips If You Feel Self-Conscious About Size

• Choose positions that maximize depth and contact, such as positions with your partner’s legs raised or rear-entry.
• Use your hands and mouth generously. They are what most partners need to orgasm anyway.
• Stay at a healthy weight, since fat around the pubic area hides usable length.
• Trim pubic hair, which makes the penis look fuller and longer.
• Get an honest reality check with our Penis Size Visualizer. Most men are closer to average than they think.

If the worry is taking over your life, read Am I Too Small? And if you have measured honestly and still want more length, traction is the one non-surgical method with clinical evidence behind it. SizeGenetics is the extender we recommend.

Frequently Asked Questions